Community Corner

Visiting Your Daughter Away in Brazil

McLean Mom Reunites with Daughter in Brazil

Carlyle Howard, a McLean resident and McLean High School student, is spending a year in Brazil. Her mom, Mason, recently travelled to Brazil for a reunion.

By Mason Howard

Following an uneventful flight from DC to Sao Paolo, a short layover and another flight further south I arrived at my final destination, Porto Alegre, Brazil.

Find out what's happening in McLeanwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

I have spent an unreasonable and excessive amount of time missing my daughter every single minute of the day during the past six months.  I had just traveled half way around the world in coach, for a special visit.   As I retrieved my bags filled with presents for host families and a variety of iconic American goodies for Carlyle including peanut butter, mac and cheese and bagels, I suddenly realize I am nervous   about this reunion. 

As the doors opened and closed I peer out in hopes of spotting her and at 5’ 10” and beautiful, she’s hard to miss.  But there is no sign of her.   Did she oversleep?  Is her 5 hour bus ride running late? Did it careen off the road and plunge over a cliff?   As my mania escalates to a fever pitch she emerges!  Suddenly overwhelmed, the tears give way and my anxiety is replaced by pure joy. My daughter looks radiant, confident, relaxed and a lot more pulled together than her mother.   And I will forever cherish this moment…. she’s happy to see me too!

Find out what's happening in McLeanwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

We hop into a cab and I smile proudly as Carlyle gives the driver information in her new found language, Portuguese.  I am tired from the flight but fortunately the cab ride to the hotel is short.  We will stay in Porto Alegre (pop. 2 million) for two days before boarding the 5.5 hour bus to Carlyle’s town, Bagé (pop. 120,000).  As luck would have it, Maria do Carmo, Carlyle’s Rotary Youth Coordinator, is also in Bagé and she invited us to a traditional Brazilian dinner complete with a “gaucho” show and dance.  This is when I really wish Carlyle’s dad had joined us as a Brazilian churrascaria is one of his favorite things (think Chima or Fogo de Chao). 

We spend two days in Porto Alegre which felt what I imagine visiting a child at college will be like.  Especially that part where they proclaim poverty and desperately require “this” and can no longer live without “that”.  I oblige…a little.  On Sunday we board the bus to Bagé and it’s an easy ride. We stopped after a few hours and I knew we were nearing Carlyle’s town when she ran into a friend at the rest stop.

Arrival in Bagé

As we taxied into town from the bus station to the hotel  I tried to imagine how Carlyle felt as she took this same journey for the first time six months ago.  As we passed brightly colored buildings, many in need of a fresh coat of paint, and travelled on cobblestone streets I was thankful she had travelled extensively outside of the states many times before.  Wow I thought!  Our daughter once obsessed with the OC and shopping in Georgetown was living here?  Not only is she living here…she is loving it!  It wasn’t long before the phone started buzzing and text messages were exchanged to begin making plans for the night.  Teenagers are the same everywhere. 

The next few days are filled with meeting people and visiting places that have become important to our daughter these last six months.  Host families, schools, local shops and eateries and yes, even a church and a museum!  I am shocked when she orders the pizza with chicken heart topping and fills her plate with arugula.  Later in the day she pours condensed milk on a piece of bread.  Is this the same daughter who would pick flecks of parsley out of her risotto or refuse to eat a pickle?  Conversations flow in Portuguese and I understand very little but it doesn’t matter.  I relax, smile proudly and relish the  opportunity to have my daughter translate for me. 

What stands out the most about this trip is just how much Carlyle has already gleaned from this opportunity and it’s not over.  She wonders why most Americans only speak English yet understands the importance of learning English because all of her Brazilians friends say you need it to get ahead.  There are other, more subtle changes as well.  Here, Carlyle is sharing a room for the first time in her  life and has discovered that  living with someone 24/7 can get on your nerves. 

 Now that she recognizes privacy is a privilege, is it possible she will take more time in maintaining her sanctuary (cleaning her room) when she comes home?  One can hope.  Carlyle embraces all aspects of the culture, and has even picked her favorite soccer team, Internacional, arguing with her friends why they are better than its rival, Gremio.  She has learned the politics and ways of life not only of Brazil but also the Philippines, Mexico, Venezuela and Denmark as they are the other Rotary exchange students in her town and they have formed a tight group.  Thousands of miles from home, Carlyle is at home, has grown and matured, become less judgmental and more open minded.

Carlyle and I had some great discussions and one-on-one time we are rarely afforded at home. Next year could be a challenging one. I foresee struggles as a result of her new-found knowledge and independence.  She herself said, “Mom, after three weeks you’ll be annoyed with me again.”  And that is probably true.  After all, she is a teenager and I am her mom and you can be sure I will also be labeled “so annoying” within five minutes of her flight landing. 

Seeing my daughter in her new habitat, and all that she has learned, I am especially thankful to the McLean community for providing her this opportunity.  The McLean Rotary took a risk in sending two students on a Rotary International Exchange this year.  I know they will be pleased when Carlyle returns and shares her experience. 

Deborah Jackson, Principal of McLean High School and her guidance staff have also been extremely supportive and patient while helping us figure out the ins and outs of taking your junior year of high school abroad.  It’s not done often and it’s not easy but we thought it was a good decision and my recent trip to Brazil confirmed that in fact it was the best decision we could have made for our daughter and her future. 

Rotary encourages students interested in Youth Exchange to contact their local Rotary Clubs for more information. High School Students and families in Northern Virginia who are interested in either the Short Term program (3-6 weeks over the summer) or the Academic Year exchange are encouraged to visit the web site of the Eastern States Student Exchange (ESSEX) at www.exchangestudent.org for more information.

The McLean Rotary Club is currently accepting applications for students wishing to participate in the Short Term program this summer and is looking for families interested in hosting students for part of the next school year who live in the McLean High School district. Inquiries may be directed to any member of the McLean Rotary Club or to Matt Leavitt, the Youth Exchange Chair for Northern Virginia at hmleavitt@cox.net


Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here